Skip to main content

Reflections on 2016

Well folks, here we are. It's New Year's Eve 2016. I am full of reflection as this year comes to a close.

The year began with me drunk, going home to my freezing cold, damp, unfinished bus with no running water, flushing toilet or proper heating. By May I had had enough. I couldn't take bus life anymore, nor could I take being controlled by my ex-fiance. I was down, in a very dark, scary place. I was self harming again, I was crying all the time and I had suicidal thoughts. Then I read Mad Girl by Bryony Gordon and I found the courage to speak up. I told J that I needed help. He promptly threw me out of our home and his life. 14 years, gone in a flash. And you know what? That was the best thing that could have happened. The next few weeks were hard. I stayed with my best friend Tracey and finally saw a gp. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and depression. I began taking medication for the first time in my life and had a brilliant course of counselling followed by a stress control course.

While this was all going on, a man I've known for 8 years as my Dads best friend came back into my life. Steve was brilliant. Supportive, kind, caring, funny and sweet. We quickly fell into a comfortable relationship that made me feel safe. When Steve hugs me, all my broken pieces fit back together and I know I'm loved. He is the best person I have ever known and I'm thankful for him every day. We got engaged in August and have been inseparable from day one. Christmas day marked our 6 months together and I have never been happier. In October, we found our beautiful little puppy Bella, a Pomeranian girly who is a gorgeous, joyful little ball of fluff with a foxy face. She makes us laugh every day.

And to make the end of the Year even more special, my Aunty Wendy came from Canada for Christmas. We had a brilliant time sightseeing with her and enjoyed a proper Canadian Christmas dinner. It was the first Christmas together in 17 years and was magical.

So, what began as a horrendous, dark year turned bright and sparkly because I wouldn't just lie down and die. I fought for what I felt I deserved and I got it. All of it. And it was worth the fight, the pain and the fear. Because now, every day is beautiful.

All the very best for 2017. Keep fighting, you're worth it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Review - Sofa, So Good; Me Life Story by Scarlett Moffatt

I am so, so excited to be bringing you my review of Sofa, So Good; Me Life Story by Scarlett Moffatt!!

What They Say:
Fact: Did you know, over its lifespan, your sofa will witness roughly 293 arguments and 1,369 cuddles?
Hiya, my name's Scarlett Moffatt and I love random facts. Almost as much as I love sitting on me sofa. You might know me best from my most famous and celebrated sit thus far on the I'm A Celebrity throne. You might also know me from all sorts of other seats, most especially my Gogglebox sofa. Well this book is my attempt at telling me life story through a whole series of them!
So I'd like you right now to stop what you're doing and take a seat, whether it be in the comfort of your own home, on the top deck of the bus, on the tube (so you don't have to make eye contact with anybody) or on the throne of the house (a.k.a. the toilet). I want you to get comfortable and get ready to laugh, cry and maybe even learn a bit, as I chat to you about some of t…

Blog Tour Stop with Review - The Silent Children by Carol Wyer

Amazon Links

UK🇬🇧http://amzn.to/2hcKJdFUS🇺🇸http://amzn.to/2xfylD8


What They Say:
The boy studied the bruise turning yellow at the base of his neck. With quick fingers his mother tightened his tie, and pulled his collar high above it. Her eyes alone said, We will not speak of this...

Years later, a man is found shot dead in a local park. On his phone is a draft text: I can’t keep this secret any longer. The recipient is unnamed.

Detective Robyn Carter knows this secret is the key to the case, but his friends and family don’t offer any clues, and all her team have to go on is a size-ten footprint. 

Then a nurse is found in a pool of blood at the bottom of her staircase, and a seemingly insignificant detail in her friend’s statement makes Robyn wonder: are the two bodies connected, and has the killer only just begun?

When another body confirms Robyn’s worst fears, she realises she’s in a race against time to stop the killer before they strike again. But just as she thinks she’s closing in, …

Blog Tour Stop with Review - The Missing Girls by Carol Wyer

Welcome to my stop on the Blog blitz for the fabulous third Instalment in the DI Robyn Carter series!


What They Say:

One girl found dead. Another girl gone... Long shadows danced on the tin walls. Inside the trunk lay Carrie Miller, wrapped in plastic, arms folded across her ribcage, lips sealed tight forever... When a girl’s body is found at a Midlands storage unit, it is too decomposed for Detective Robyn Carter to read the signs left by the killer. No one knows the woman in blue who rented the unit; her hire van can’t be traced. But as the leads run dry another body is uncovered. This time the killer’s distinctive mark is plain to see, and matching scratches on the first victim’s skeleton make Robyn suspect she’s searching for a serial-killer.  As Robyn closes in on the killer’s shocking hunting ground, another girl goes missing, and this time it’s someone close to her own heart.  Robyn can’t lose another loved one. Can she find the sickest individual she has ever faced, before it’…